


Crossroad

by GaHoolianGirl



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Escape, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I forgot Fenris, M/M, Plans For The Future, The Isabela x Merrill is minor but it's there at all so hey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5732536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meredith is dead; Kirkwall has fallen into chaos, and Kierian Hawke and co are just happy to be alive. But, sailing away to relative safety on Isabela's ship brings up a few questions, for everyone. They're at their crossroads of friendship and family.</p><p>What now? Could Hawke leave Anders, his love, to die, or abandon his sister? What does Anders think? How do any of them feel? Is this goodbye?</p><p>(Not quite as deep as implied)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossroad

**Author's Note:**

> First off; I forgot Fenris, but was 1800 words in by then. I guess he could have stayed and helped Aveline (who pribaboy stayed behind anyways).
> 
> Kierian is obviously my Hawke. He was blue during the course of the game, but the stress is turning him purple.

“Quite a decision you’ve made,” Isabela mused to Kierian, not taking her eyes off the open sea. On deck, there was only her, him, and Varric. The rest of their motley crew was below deck, getting whatever rest they could.

“Which one?” Hawke didn’t used to be a man for sarcasm, but in recent days, he found humor preferable over silence.

Varric took over, “Well, it could be instigating a war between the mages and templars, or how you’ve made up your mind to abandon us to run off with your fugitive apostate lover and your apostate sister in the middle of said war. Take your pick.”

The warrior smiled guiltily, “You could tell?”

“It’s written all over you face, sweet thing,” she looked down at the hatch with a fond look, far fonder than anything she was capable of seven years ago, “You’d lay down your life for them. Probably will, too.”

His eyes followed hers, and his face softened. Isabela was right, as she often was. There was no length too great he would go to protect Anders or Bethany. He had sworn to do so, and he shall. “I promised, nearly thirteen years ago when father died, that I would protect Bethany from the templars, from the dangers her magic brought. I failed once. Not ever again.”

That was the earnest Kierian Hawke they knew. Selfless bastard that he was.

“How are you gonna manage to hide not one, but _two_ apostates, especially when one is probably the most wanted man in Thedas?” Varric, for his kindness and humor, always saw the world the way it was.

Kierian looked out to the water drinking in the sight before sighing. “I’ll find a way. I have to. When have I ever gone back on my word?”

“Never, which is why you’re in this mess,” Isabela said, her tone light, but her words carried a sizable weight to them. She clicked her tongue, and her hands gripped the wheel, “Well, whatever happens, I’m...glad to have thrown my lot in with you, Hawke.”

“Count me in on that.”

He smiled at the two of them, and it was the closest thing he’s felt to happy since they left the shores of Kirkwall. “You’ve damned yourselves by helping us.”

Isabela laughed heartily, “I’ve been marked with the damned for years Hawke. Helping some apostates can’t be as morally wrong as freeing a boatful of slaves, now can it?” She paused, more serious, “What about Merrill? She’s just as much an apostate as they are.”

“I’m not...not sure. My priority is Anders and Bethany. She might not want to come along with Anders being, ah, the way he is, but she is welcome to follow.”

“The way he is!” Varric barked out a chuckle, “That’s a way to put it. Look, Blondie...he’s not exactly a _bad_ guy...” he rubbed the back of his neck, “...but he’s going to drag you down with him. You’ve got to know that.

“So?”

The simplicity of his response startled his companions.

“I have hung onto him for three years, and I’m not letting go now. Nothing he could say or do, short of kill me or Bethany, could keep me away from him. He’s as much my problem as he is the rest of the world’s. He needs help and support, and who else will give it to him?” he pointed his toe and tapped his foot on the deck, “I’ve thrown my lot in, the same as you.”

Isabela whistled, “Well, that’s dedication. I can’t say it’s...out of character for you, Hawke. Just be ready. Life is going to kick you in the balls every step you take.”

“If the templars don’t beat it to it.”

They all laughed again.

“In all seriousness, Hawke,” Varric’s voice was low and tender, “ _be careful._ ”

Kierian sobered immediately, sitting up with his back straight, “We will. I swear.”

There was a sudden tension in the air that was almost immediately snapped by a lurching wave.

* * *

 

Anders awoke with a start, Kierian’s name on his lips. His scream mercifully died down in his throat, but his sudden movement jerked Bethany awake, who had fallen asleep against his side. They had cots, but Anders could not bring himself to lie down without Kierian. The youngest Hawke turned out to be as stubborn as her brother, and doggedly slept beside him when Kierian wasn’t there. Merrill lay, still asleep, a very pointed distance away from them.

“Anders?”

He grunted.

“A nightmare?”

Another noise of assent rose from his throat.

“Should I get brother? I’m sure he’d be willing to-”

“No. Please no. Please.”

He had spoken very little the past few week, save for words like those, pleas and refusals or comfort. He had seemed so sure, so steadfast when they left the city, but each day his behavior just worsened.

“Will you tell me? Please? If you don’t, I’ll tell brother about these dreams you have when he’s not around.”

“Yes.” _No, he must suffer no more from me,_ “We were in Kirkwall again...” his voice was ragged from the sea air and the unofficial vow of silence he had taken for the past few days of the voyage, “...in the estate. His arms, around me. The fire was lit and roaring, and Orana brought down her cookies.”

“Wasn’t that a pleasant dream?”

His pressed on as if he hadn’t heard her, “There was no Justice. No Wardens. You were there, and so was your mother. Nothing was wrong. And then...the voices started. The Archdemon whispering thoughts of the Blights and taint, and then Justice, and...”

She patiently waited for him to silence, and her hand on his arm was firm, a trait he noticed in all the Hawke’s he’d met.

“We can still have that, one day. One day when all the fighting stops.”

“How can...how can you be so innocent?”

“It’s not innocence,” she said sharply, but her voice was to kind for it to have been a snap, “It’s called _hope_ . I believed in the Circle, once,” her voice trailed, “ _That_ was innocence. From a girl who’d been on the run her whole life. And now I’m on the run again, and I’ve remembered how to hope.”

He swallowed thickly, looking into her eyes, which were filled with such determination he wouldn’t have been surprised if that was also genetic. He looked away, overwhelmed. “You should leave me behind-”

Bethany silenced him, her hand gripping him tighter. “That is not an option, and you know it. I’m not letting you do that to my brother. I...don’t care what you want. He won't ever let you go, so you’re stuck with us. Hawkes stay together.”

He blinked, and found his eyes wet with tears. She just referred to him, him,  under the Hawke name.

“I’m not a Hawke.”

“You are. You might not know it, you might not want it. But you’re a Hawke now, and we never let go,” she cracked a crooked little grin, and Anders wondered what happened to the serious, if gentle, Bethany he knew all those years ago, “I’m sure my brother’s bear hugs have proven that a thousand times over.

He almost smiled, before they were tossed clear across the room.

* * *

 

The whole vessel tilted dangerously to the right, causing everyone on deck to yelp and a large clamor down below. When Isabela managed to right them, the three of them were soaked to the bone. Footsteps could be heard, and Bethany, Anders, and Merrill emerged.

“What was that?” Bethany said, shaken. Kierian was reminded of the innocent nineteen year old girl on the ship to Kirkwall, frightened and angry, cradled in her mother’s arms, and he had to remind himself that she was nearly thirty now, yet still angry and frightened.

“Just a wave, Sunshine.”

“Good,” she said in a breath of relief, and Kierian’s heart clenched. _She thought we were under attack._

“I don’t believe we can get much sleep anymore. Well, me at least. I couldn’t know about you two,” Merrill prattled, her voice still heavy with sleep, contrary to her words.

“Well, dawn’s approaching anyway. We can watch the sunrise.”

“Such a romantic notion, Isabela!” Kierian said with a laugh.

She jut a hip out and stuck her tongue at him. “I can enjoy a pretty sight as well as you, thank you!”

He smiled at her. He sloshed his wet hair and beard, droplets of water flying so far they hit Bethany.

“Brother! I swear, if we weren’t related I’d say you're part mabari.”

He smiled at her, “Doesn’t us being related just prove that even more?”

She grimaced goodnaturedly, before shooting a little puff of flame from her finger, nailing him in the backside. He jumped up with a yelp, and for the first time, everyone laughed (Anders even smiled). He pat his flaming ass out, trying and failing to look angry. He was just glad that...everyone knew how to smile. Still, that didn’t prevent him from doling out some good old fashioned sibling revenge.

“Well, to make me feel better...how about a hug?” He approached her, arms wide open and his under armor still soaking wet. She cried joyfully, shooing him away with her staff.

“Brother!” she yelled, the smile yet to have fallen from her lips as she ran away from her chasing mabari of a brother

Their antics died down after a few minutes, and everyone decided to take Isabela’s suggestion up, looking out to the horizon, which was turning the water shades of yellow, pink, and orange. Anders started slowly inching closer to Kierian, until he was nearly pressed into his side.

Neither spoke for a moment. “I’ll...” the mage’s voice cracked, “take you up...on that hug.”

The warrior blinked, and he felt his lips slowly grind upwards, “Even if I’m a smelly wet Ferelden dog?” he teased. He didn’t want to push him away; he just wanted to know if Anders was sure.

“All the better, actually,” was his response, voice still small. Kierian barely hesitated, gathering the bony mage up in a smothering (but comforting) hug. “No one else is going to hurt you,” he whispered, a private contract sealed between the two of them. Ander felt tears prickle his eyes, and they warmed his numb cheek which was cold from the sea water all over his lover’s body.

He dropped Anders, and a silence enveloped the group again, but now it was almost amicable

...and again, there near-calm was shattered.

“Not to ruin the fun, I mean, everyone is smiling again and all...” Merrill rung her hands together, “What are we going to do? Now that we’re wanted fugitives. Well, now that _all_ of us are wanted fugitives,” she glanced over at Isabela, then Anders.

“I’m planning on returning to Captain-ing. I’ve forgotten how much I’ve missed it, but I remember now that we’re out here,” Isabela looked at the helm in her hands fondly.

Varric scratched his stubble, “I might mill around after we dock, before going back to Kirkwall. Wait for things to settle down a bit.”

Kierian looked at Anders, than Bethany. “We’re going...to find someplace. Somewhere we can stay, even for awhile. Maybe in Ferelden? We can blend in,” he knew his voice sounded unsure, but tentative plans were far better than wandering Thedas harboring two mages. They both looked at him hopefully.

Merrill's eyes widened and her lips pouted, and it almost looked like her ears might flatten against her head. “What...about me? A lone elf is easy prey for anyone...” she repeated the words she said a decade ago.

No one had an answer, before Isabela gave a hoarse chuckle, and all eyes fell to her. “You could join me, kitten. I’d have to teach you raider-etiquette and how to punch a handsy sailor in the face, but it’s safe enough, right?”

Merrill perked up again, and she bounced on her heels in momentary contemplation, before grinning widely. “Thank you! One day, I’ll go back, for the elves, but...thank you Isabela.”

The pirate queen winked and blew a kiss at her, and Merrill blushed and her grin grew wider.

Kierian held up a hand. "Before anything, I want us to make one promise; one day, I'll see you all again."

The smile everyone had was the same. A promise, and a reprimand: O _f course we will._

Isabela waved them off, “Before we do anything, we have to cross the Waking Sea, which’ll be a week and a half or so more. So get some rest,” Isabela advised, “I’ll let someone take over when it's light.”

“I’ll stay up here with you, Rivaini.”

“Kierian...” Anders said, grabbing his sleeve like a child, “Come...back down with us?”

He smiled and nodded, bidding Varric and Isabela good night before climbing down the hatch with his mages. As he drifted off to sleep, Anders in his arms and Bethany pressed into his side, he thought, _maybe, just maybe, we’ll be just fine_.•

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't classify this fic. I say it's like the game; the writing isn't perfect, but the dialouge carries it.


End file.
